If there were a line in the universe with the Patriarchal spirit traditions that include the Judeo/Christian/Islamic beliefs on one side and the older Matriarchal/Goddess spirit traditions on the other: my path would resemble, well I’m not sure what it would look like.
I guess the closest description would be a crazy, wobbly spiral. I find myself on one side of the line, time passes I try to find my way on the other side, more time passes and there I am again. A few years ago I began exploring the more goddess centered traditions including the wildwood mystical path explored Rae Beth and others. Then I wobbled back to the other side of the line in what has turned out to be a last ditch effort to walk the Christian path I believed I was born to. And all the inner voices went silent. It felt like I was trying to move upstream in the rapids. And I can’t go on this way.
There are Christian writers I deeply respect including Thomas Merton and Matthew Fox but when I try to walk their road, I run into a brick wall and I can’t get past it. If there is a call to that path I’m not hearing it. My road leads another way. And, this place, I hope is where I can explore are those other wonderful strands that sing to me.
With all that great spiritual stuff that was going on a while back, I wonder why you chose to "go back" to Christianity?
ReplyDeleteI kind of took that same shot back in January of 2006, when I think I decided for good and all--it's not for me.
Good fortune in your search... :-]
I hope you take the path that allows you to be creative again. Our spirits take many forms, and Christianity is only one of many. Follow you gut.
ReplyDeleteMy personal image for spiritual growth has long been a spiral with its constant changes and movements in multiple directions. The only real thing I'm sure of when it comes to the Divine is that it's greater than any one religion. Enjoy the quest,with its ebbs, flows and wobbles.
ReplyDelete