MY OFF THE WALL SENSE OF HUMOR

 Yeah, I guess I did sort of fall off the face of the earth. Or a bad case of writer's block, Or whatever. More on that later. I hope.

Last Sunday was the first Sunday of Advent. The four weeks leading up to the Christmas Season. I grew up in a Methodist church so liberal we didn't do Advent or Lent. Don't remember the prophets being mentioned all that often either. Anyway. The lead up to the Christmas season plus some reading of the prophents over the past few years plus my twisty, off the wall sense of humor produced this:

Of the few of you who actually know me you will know that my sense of humor is well, sort of off the wall. Out in far left field actually.

God has sent prophets over the years from Amos through Jeremiah to Zechariah with mixed and apparently futile results. This is how it goes in my weird imagination,

"Son we need to have a talk. Remember that conversation we had a three or four eons ago on the other side of the Milky Way."

"Yeah, the one where I end up on earth eventually learning the difference between oak and cedar and end up walking the length and breadth of the Holy Land, depending on the hospitality of strangers and all that goes with it, while basically repeating what those who came before me tried to teach?

"That's the one. It's time. I've got a great family chosen for you. Joseph is a carpenter and Mary is willing to take the risk."

"OK dad, Catch you on the flip side. I've got a feeling I'm going to get into more trouble that all the other prophets put together."

"Afraid so, Son."

STILL KICKIN'

 I did not drop off the face of the earth. No matter how it looks. Ran into some medical problems last month tied to my chronic cellulitis.talk about a gift that keeps on giving. As in a week in the hospital and the better part of a month getting my mojo back, such as it was or is, and clearing out the cobwebs. Between the meds and therapy I've been about as ambitious as a sponge on the good stuff.

Not really sure what to write about these days. but here's one. The ads have been pitching fake Christmas tree since before Halloween. Right down to the fake smell of the fake fir tree. Darn it half the fun of Christmas was decorating the tree. Picking one out that looked like a good one. Installing it in the tree stand, trying to avoid stepping on the cat's tail while she checked out the crinkly paper wrapping the ornaments. Standing up the tree and turning it so the best side was facing the room. 

And when I was little watching dad check out the lights on the string. We have at least two generations that probably don't have that memory. Sigh of relief if they all lit the first time. The going through the string one by one with a good bulb until you found the burned out one. After he had checked to make sure they were all screwed in good and tight. So you have a couple of strings of lights that light up. Those old lights were real light bulbs. They got hot. So when you put the lights on the tree you had to make sure that those lights didn't get anywhere near pine or fir needles. 

So the tree went up the week before Christmas and came down by New Years.Then it was on with the garland, the ornaments and the tinsel. Anybody remember tinsel? Remember the really good Hallmark ornaments? The skating moose. The fiddle playing bunny rabbit? The ornament celebrating the birth of my oldest nephew? A couple of really delecate ornaments that came from Grandma. 

So in reverse. Carefully removing the tinsel. Save that for next year. Rewrap the ornaments. Don't step on the cat who is batting the stray pieces around. Remove the strings of garland. Save that too. Finally the lights and all that's left are fallen fir needles and bits of tinsel. Did I mention the checking of the needles every day to make sure they are still firmly attached to the branches. 

There was that one year when we got the tree up and four days later we took it down. Little sucker was shedding needles like crazy. The only good thing about those fake trees it that you probably can't set one on fire.I don't have any pictures of those old trees. And guess what you can watch youtube videos to find out how to decorate an old fashioned tree.Youtube for cryin' out loud. 

Darn I wish I had a picture of the fiddle playing rabbit. Or the one that was ice skating. Or the drunking front legs crossed, ice skating moose. He was really a prize